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25 Days of Giving Day 22: Flowers on a Grave

December 22, 2013

I’m ashamed to say in the seven years since my grandmother passed away, I had only been to her grave once, on the day of her funeral. I knew I wanted to change that and with the Holidays fast approaching, I decided I wanted to visit soon so that I could put a Christmas wreath on her grave. I also thought it would be nice to buy an extra wreath and put it on a stranger’s grave that didn’t have anything.

So I asked my mom if she could take me to the cemetery and show my where the grave was. She ended up doing a lot more than that because, as it turns out, nearly my entire family is buried within practically a mile radius of each other in an adjacent cemetery and another nearby cemetery.


This is the tombstone of my great-grandparents. My mom wanted to change out the flowers  – and instead of throwing out the flowers that were there – she likes to find a grave with none and put them in there. So I helped he find one and sneakily put them in there.

My great-grandparents are buried with a few of their children (some of my great uncles), which I have fond memories of, so I decided to put my extra wreath with them instead. It just seemed fitting.  After that, we went to my Busci’s (Polish for grandmother) grave so I could lay her wreath there.


As pretty as it looked with her beautiful Christmas flowers, I decided not to leave it there. Instead, I switched it to my Great Aunt Kay’s grave, who is buried with her husband, right next to my Busci. My Aunt Kay’s life was sort of tragic. Her husband passed long before she did (I don’t ever remember meeting him). A few years back when she was moved into a hospice, her estranged daughter who had cancer was moved into the same hospice. The night she found out, she was too ill to feel up to seeing her and decided to wait until the next day to see her. But her daughter passed before then and my Aunt passed not long after. Only a few years later, her other estranged daughter also passed away. With no surviving children, I decided to leave the wreath with my Aunt instead.

So for my 22nd day of giving, my mom and I put flowers on a stranger’s grave and wreaths on my family’s grave sites.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Mom permalink
    December 23, 2013 12:22 am

    It was fun “grave hopping” with you today and sharing some of our family history with you. You don’t remember meeting Aunt Kay’s husband because he died 10 years before you were born. I can’t wait to see what you have planned for tomorrow!

    • December 23, 2013 6:13 am

      Me too mom! Did I get the story right? I don’t have anything planned! I lost my list in the beginning of the month and have been flying by the seat of my pants ever since – ha.

  2. Laura permalink
    January 4, 2014 7:48 pm

    That sounds like a nice outing with your Mom! (Hi Mrs Carol!) Thanks for sharing the family history. Love the Kropkowski’s!

  3. Mom permalink
    February 3, 2014 2:13 pm

    I visited Busci’s grave recently and changed the Christmas flowers for something more seasonal. I was fortunate that the water in the vases, while still frozen, was soft enough that I could “bang” it off the Christmas flowers.

    While there, I noticed that the pretty wreath you left at Aunt Kay’s grave was still there. The part closest to the ground must have frozen because it was still pretty green-so I left it.

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